Neighborhood Whore

Well, we all have one. The one girl in the neighborhood that when you see her coming towards you, it's like "RUN FOR SHELTER." It's time I talked about mine. She has now resorted to having so many men just sit around her and follow her around just wanting some attention. Some of the "suitors" have even scared away some of the others....

Here's the key. I will keep her name anonymous for everyone's safety. "Mandy" is a weinie dog. HaHa!!! Seriously, this little bitch (and I can say that because she is one) is in heat and it's like brothel city around here. She is totally ruining the reputation of the neighborhood. Thank goodness that my boys got the snip, snip and they could care less what she is doing and with who. Now, she's a weinie dog and scares the living shit out of my dogs. This little whore will come into our yard and when we let the boys out, she will bark at them until they run back to the front door saying, "We really don't have to go to the bathroom, we were just pretending!" Well, now there are boy dogs from everywhere, dogs we've never seen and dogs that are neighborhood dogs just hanging around waiting for this little bitch. I sat my boys down and explained that this is the kind of girl they don't want to have anything to do with because hell she could give them the clap or something!!!! Do dogs get clap? Anyway, some sort of doggie STD. Day before yesterday, picture this.... "Mandy" the weinie dog was getting it on with.......... are you ready for it.........ready....................... A DAMN ASS LARGE BLACK LAB!!!! Now I am not a genius, but I really don't see how that can happen. She's really short with really short legs. He's huge with large legs..... C'mon, really!!

Ok, so for last night's entertainment, she was getting it on with the cutest little Maltese. I was wanting to rescue him from her beguiling ways. Then, the funniest thing happened. Yes, they got stuck. Ole boy couldn't "get it out" per se. Everytime she moved, he kind of hopped behind her. Then they'd say, "Well, we're here might as well make the best of it." and go at it AGAIN. Then they'd hop around a little, get it on, you get the drift.

It's very, very sad that my evening entertainment is watching the neighborhood whore take her pick from all her suitors..... The damn ass ugly dog can get a ton of action, and what do I get? A big fat nothing. Something is wrong with this picture.

So, you want to see pictures of my dogs after their haircuts. They weren't participating, so I will attach some old ones. I have never done this, so bare with me. They are good boys and don't go after good for nothing ho-bags......

First one is Mac, one on bottom is Patton, my sweet boys.....

Today you guessed it........ It was a shitty day. My left knee is hurting so bad that I really want to cut it off. I had so much physical therapy on my left leg that all it managed to do was screw up the left knee. Fix one problem to have another one flare up.

The day started off and I knew that it was not going to be a good one. I wanted to stay home but I also had a mental picture of my desk and realized that I had to go in at least for a little bit. SO, off I went to work, I lasted until 1:00. That was a shocker. I then came home, put on my pj's and settled onto the couch. Mom and I were going to go swimming but it looks like it could rain, so we aren't going to go there.

So, another night of TV. At least Big Brother is on tonight, that will give me some comfort.

Goodnight, my fellow Americans! God bless you all.

The Big Dog Haircut

Well, the dog haircut didn't go as bad as I thought. Now, you have to understand that my dogs are very sensitive about their feet. They don't like them touched at all. So, after a cut, they basically look like the Clydesdale horses. It's quite comical. Got a little close to Patton on the very first cut which was of course right down the middle of his back. So, he has a stripe looking streaky thing. It makes for a good story anyway. Poor little guy, sitting around with all his doggy friends and they will so make fun of it.

Mac was by far the easiest. He just stood there when we needed him to, laid down when we needed. Laid on his back so we could get his tummy, and he even let me (very gently) work on his front two feet. I was so proud of him. He's such a good boy. They both are. Can you tell that I love them just a little? I love them a lot and by golly they may be dogs but at least I can say that I sleep with two guys every night.

Blah, Blah, Blah

So, I really have nothing to say today. I was on the phone with tech support from 8:30 to 12:00 for my computer software company. It was really long and mostly boring.

Came home and trimmed my dog's little faces because they are getting a little shaggy. So, I do their faces and then dad and I usually trim their bodies with our clippers. Yes, we are poor white trash and cut our own dog's hair. Do you know how much it costs to get 2 dogs groomed??? A LOT!!! And I could so use that money elsewhere. Like my own hair, or jewelry, or purses, or pajamas. heehee. They don't know and they could care less if their hair is a little longer on one side than it is on the other. They don't look in the mirror and they sure as shit don't go to a doggy park and sit around talking to other dogs about their horrible haircuts. Now, last time we did this, my dad just about cut Patton's ear off, which is why for the last 5-6 months, they have actually gone to the groomers. But, I have gotten over it and I think that Patton has forgotten about it. We even got brand new clippers because obviously the other ones were old and unusable. So, we will probably give that part a shot tomorrow night.

So, now I am off to get ready for bed. Sweet dreams, my friends. Love to all.

So Very Sleepy

Here it is, Saturday morning at 7:15 and it already really hot and muggy. Another miserable day in Oklahoma. I can already tell that this is going to be a GREAT day. So, I am going to make the living room as dark as possible and watch TV all day. That's my idea of a great day.

So, I went to a 4 year old birthday party last night. Started at 6:00 and all the kids went swimming. Yelling and screaming and they were having the best time. A large crowd of kids in his big pool usually kind of makes the birthday boy a little anxious, so he spent the whole time with another friend in the little "baby pool" if you will. He is so cute. I stayed in the house just because of the whole "outside, heat, possible dehydration" situation. I watched from the back windows. When it was time for his cupcake cake, he wanted to deliver each person their cupcake. I was inside and here he comes, "Lindsay, here's your cupcake". It was the sweetest thing ever!!!!

The I got on the internet and looked at all of the new Slpada jewelry. For those of you who don't know what Silpada is, it's the best jewelry IN THE WORLD. A little more pricey than a lot of jewelry, but this SO BEAUTIFUL.

Now to the bad part. I had so many stinking nightmares last night about being on the ventilator and not being able to breathe. It's the same dream, over and over but every time it's like the first time. I wake up gasping, crying, and obviously not wanting to go back to sleep. So, I got up 3 times in the middle of the night, I watched some TV, read my US magazine and this morning at 5:20, I had my cereal. I am so tired right now, I am a walking zombie. Once I finish this, back to bed for me. When I went to the eye doctor yesterday, he said that my vision has changed just since Tuesday, so he hated to give me new lenses, because what if my vision changes again by next Friday???????Damn, good for nothing eyeballs. I know, I should be grateful that I have them, but sometimes I wonder.

That is all, my darlings. All 2 or 3 of you that read this. LOVES AND KISSES!!!

The Love of a Child

Today was a first class sucky, crappy, bitchy kind of day (except for one occasion which I will get to later). First of all, I forgot to blog last night. Here I am brand new at this and already forgetting and it hasn't even been a week!!! What is my deal???

Today at work I had to deal with a guy that I really can't stand. He thinks that he is the coolest thing to walk the halls of Valley View and yet he has to wear long sleeves EVERYDAY because of the amount of tattoos on his arms. He's late 30's, in a band, flirts with everything in a short skirt and is pretty much just an ass. But, unfortunately, he is in a position where if there is a problem with your computer, you kind of have to have his help. I have been trying to get his help with a conversion on my computer since July 1 and he keeps putting me off saying that he has called who he is supposed to and they won't call him back. SO, I decided to call his bluff today and I called the people myself. Got right through and immediately we had a time set up where THEY are going to do the conversion for me and I don't even have to deal with that worthless, lazy, son of a monkey lover!!!!

Then I go to another eye doctor to get new lenses for my glasses and they look at each other in confusion and look at the schedule and say "Oh, honey your appointment is tomorrow" Well, shit. Another lunch down the drain, monkey bitch!!!!!!

About 2:00, I get a notice that my dear friend has her 8 month old up at her office. Now, let me tell you.... I love this little guy. First of all, he has the biggest blue eyes and longest eyelashes on a little boy that I have ever seen. So, what do I do??? Walk as fast as my gimp leg will let me to get to him. He smiles at me and we start playing (while he is still safely in mommy's arms. I know enough to know that you don't just walk in and immediately snatch up a child, hence they will start crying. You also talk very softly, not loud as you will give the poor baby a heart attack) See, I don't need to have children to know anything about them. I love babies so much and all I want is for them to love me. So, mommy has to do some actual work for a little bit and asked me to watch him! Uh, duh!!! So, we play and sing and then I take him over to see her co-workers. Remember above when I said that there was one occasion that didn't make this day so sucky???? Well, get ready my friends because here it is. I handed him to one of the girls and IMMEDIATELY his little, precious, adorable face wrinkled up and he started crying. Then he did the one thing that I dream of all babies doing to me. He reached up his little arms for ME!!!! He has never done that. So, of course I immediately snatch him back from the evil, hateful woman that had to have him in the first place. He wouldn't go to anyone else and kept putting his little head a little closer to my chest everytime someone reached for him. I wanted to sing from the top of the hospital or something just as dramatic. But, given my luck, I would have fallen off the building into a lot of tangly, thorny bushes and crashed a little old woman that was being discharged. It was great. I realized that this innocent little angel knew that all I had was love for him and he felt comfortable with me enough to only want me. Last couple of days, I have not felt love from anyone or anything (part of the crappy, shitty day) but today, little Carson made it all better. He put a Band-aid on my boo-boo and made my day a little easier to deal with. Amazing what children are capable of doing!!!

I'm out, sorry about missing yesterday. It would have been suicidal depressing, take my word for it. You wouldn't have wanted to hear it anyway. Loves and kisses......

Work, work and more work

Today was a very productive day for me. I got so much done at work - even though you still can't see my desk for all the piles of papers that I have everywhere. That almost 2 months that I didn't work I don't think I will ever get caught up on. It sucks when you are the only one that does your job and you have no backup to help out when a girl is close to dying. I mean, c'mon!!!

Then this afternoon I went to the eye doctor. Everytime I go, I am afraid that he is going to tell me that my eyes are inflamed again and I have to get an injection in them. Yes, people a shot IN MY EYE. Let me tell you, it hurts like hell. Then my eye gets all red and puffy from the medication that he just put in. But, lo and behold I actually got good news. He said that there was absolutely no inflammation and that I was good to go. About freaking time a doctor told me something good. I'm sitting in the waiting room and who is right across from me but my physician boss, Dr. VH. He is a very abrupt man but I think that he has a little soft spot for me because once we were alone, he looked at me and said, "Ok, how are you REALLY feeling?" I thought very quickly, should I lie and let him believe that everything is roses and sweet puppy dogs or should I tell him the truth so that if I do mess up at work in the near future, he will remember this conversation and cut me a little slack. Take my word for it when I say, this man shows no one any slack. Big time ball buster - if I had balls. Va-jay-jay buster I should say. So, I told him the truth. His response, "Well, shit." He says that a lot to me, when I take him something to sign or look at or tell him about another one of our meetings, pretty much a lot. He's kind of funny when he says it.

Anyhoo, so the girls at BVA are the best. I don't feel like a patient there, I feel like one of the girls. And, today they were all wearing these little flower rings that came off of cupcakes and they gave me one!!! FLOWER POWER!! I felt very special. I usually am scared to death everytime I go there because I don't want to hear bad news, but they always manage to make me feel better. Love them all for that!!

At least my day will end on a good note because Big Brother is on tonight. Very pumped about that. As I am watching it, I will feel a little closer to you, Kimmy knowing that you are watching it too. Sometime anyway. How does that work? If it is 8:00 here and 6:00 there, what time is it here when it comes on for you? That confuses me a little.

That was pretty much my day in a nutshell. Take it, enjoy it, wrap it up and put it in your pocket! Love to all....

Manic Monday

I hate Mondays with a stinking passion. After two days of sleeping late, doing what I want to do and not having to dress up, I really hate having to get back in the "Work" mode. It sucks the big one.

SO, I got my hair done. I FREAKING LOVE IT!!!! Cut a little off the bottom so it is pretty much even with my ears now, really short!!! It's just so freaking hot here, that I figure the less hair, the better. It's red and 2 shades of blonde. It's the freaking bomb! I have the best hairdresser in the world. She makes me laugh in addition to giving me great hair. Someone said that if everything is going to go wrong with me, at least I still have good hair. AMEN, sista!!

So, I have a very dear friend who went through breast cancer and had a double mastectomy. She told me today that I needed to start writing down all my feelings and thoughts, frustrations, and worries. So, I figure what a better place to do it than on here, right? I mean, I am not going to tell you all every one of my problems. You'd run from your computer screaming like a banshee. But a few of them won't hurt me. If you don't want to read it, you don't have to. I think I started this more for myself than for anything else. I have a new problem to add to my long list of already problems. Raynaud's Syndrome. Basically, my feet are turning purple and they are cold to the touch even though the rest of me is really hot. It's brought on by emotional stress. Now let's think about this, has anything happened recently that could cause me to have emotional stress??? Funny, isn't it? Now, there are a couple of you who might be mad at me for not telling you this over the phone, so let me explain. I have very few "really good friends". I have a lot of friends, but not ones that I feel a lifelong connection with. I probably have 5 really great people that I am blessed to call friends and only 2 of them know about this new problem. 2 of you live a really long way away and you already feel so bad that you weren't here for "the big event" that I just hate to add to it. And the last one, you are so dad gumm busy that I hate to add to your problems. So, consider this my way of telling you. I also have Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. I am having flashbacks, nightmares, whatever (the anesthesiologists say that it is my subconscious trying to remember) of being on the ventilator not being able to breathe and freaking plum out. So, now I am officially crazy. I don't want to be alone because I am afraid that it will happen again and this time the outcome will be different. But, if anyone looks at me or talks to me, you would think that I am the happiest person in the world, because of the wonderful acting that I do. I deserve a freaking Emmy for all my performances. Here, it's been three months and people are still flabbergasted at how well I am doing, they are so glad that I am alive and they have just been so worried. I can't go anywhere without someone saying something along those lines. It drives me crazy. "Oh, honey it is so good to see you alive and doing so well. How are you feeling?" yada, yada, yada. Just makes me want to curl in the fetal position and hide.

OK, enough of this sad and depressing shit. Can you cuss in a blog? Wouldn't know. Kim, help me out.... I know you are trying to cut back on your cussing, but come on. You, not cuss?? I have known you forever and I just don't see it working..... You know I love ya, sista!

Sheesh, I have wrote a lot today. Well, writing is good for the soul. Or so they say. Love to all and Peace Out!!

Today is a new day

Well, this is my first ever blog so bare with me and do not laugh at my inadequacies. I do not know all the abbreviations that I can sit here all day and try to figure out. Deal with it. I am inside right now because it is so stinking hot outside with no wind that it just makes for a miserable day. Today is the sidewalk sale in Ada and my mom and I went for a while. I got the coolest blinged out Fossil watch 50% off (LOVE A BARGAIN). At first, I thought it was a men's because it's a little big, but IT WAS NOT! Again, YEA!!! So, it's got a huge face with crystals all over it. It is awesome and I love it. I also got a pair of shoes, also a heck of a bargain. It's not like the sidewalk sales from back in the day where everything was so marked down, you walked out of there with one of everything. And 75% of the stores downtown didn't even participate so that part totally sucked the big one. But, that's ok because I still got to use the old credit card. I guess that's all for my first blog, not much else to say. Goodbye, farewell, I bid you all adieu!!